THE UNWANTED CHANGE

Before I begin with what I am about to write, I would like to apologize for not being able to update my blog for quite some time.  I went to a place wherein the modern world is not so much prioritized.  HAHA!  Silly as it may seem, but it is a fact.  Anyway, let us go back to the real deal which is my blog post for today.

----------------------------------------

I have written a post a few weeks back that is somewhat the same to what I am about to write.  You may be wondering why I suddenly thought of making something similar, but if you haven't noticed, most of my blog posts are about the current situation I am facing and the emotions I feel that I cannot tell the people around me.

I believe that the people who read my blog are here for a certain topic, LOVE.  I guess falling in love is something inevitable.  Your emotions trigger your heart to feel things that you would rather not feel, ironic as it may seem.  When falling in love, you expect to get your heart broken along the process.  Even if you do not want to, you cannot help it.

A thing that remains questionable to me is how the feelings of others change all of a sudden?  They make you feel special then next thing you know, they are gone without any explanations.  All you can ever do after that heartbreaking scenario is cry yourself to sleep and ask yourself what you could possibly have done wrong.  After experiencing it, you become such a denial queen/king and make yourself believe that it will be better eventually even if you know it will never be.

Honestly, I do not understand how you can smile all day, but cry yourself to sleep.  How pictures you have taken months or years ago never change, but the people in them do.  How the forever you have always planned turn into a few short months that you would do almost anything just to get back.  How some things can hurt you even though you know for yourself that it is the best thing to do.  How the people who once spent their every second talking to you think that a few minutes of their time is too much to spare.  How people make promises despite knowing how common it is for promises to be broken.  And the most important fact of all, how people can erase you from their lives just because it is easier than working things out.

These unwanted changes are some of the random things I think about everyday.  Deep inside me, I know it will hurt even more if I comprehend these things.  But then I realize, the more I think and get hurt, the more I grasp the fact that some things did not work out because better things await me.  Maybe not now, but soon it will come my way.

MISSING YOU

"I miss something I never even had."

- Lauren DeStefano, Sever

It is funny how things change all of a sudden without warnings.  I wish love is somewhat like Facebook.  You receive requests from people who attempt to enter your life and notifications to be warned of what's going to happen afterwards. Unfortunately, love is something that comes unexpectedly.  Someone comes along, makes you feel special and eventually, breaks your heart.  But the sad truth when it comes to loving someone is the fact that no matter how much someone has hurt you, you still miss every bit of them because they have played a significant role in your life.

I have loved just like most of you.  People who know me might say I am too young to say this, but the truth is I was and still am in love.  Sadly, the feelings I have cannot be reciprocated anymore because of some circumstances that remain unknown to me.  He said he loves me back, but the feelings cannot stay for long.  Next thing I know, without any explanations, he left.  Can you blame me if I cried, if I was devastated?  Was it wrong to expect something from him after all the I love you's he uttered?

The only thing that makes me hate myself is the fact that I am still missing him despite the tears that I cried and the feelings that were wasted.  I wish we could go back and be those people who are always laughing together and having a good time. But now is different and I know that no matter how many times I wish for that to come true, it would never happen.  As much as I am in love, it will never be enough.

TIME TO MOVE ON?

"Sooner or later, we've all got to let go of our past."

- Dan Brown

Love is something we all experience at one point in our lives.  We meet someone who eventually becomes a significant part of us.  What makes or breaks it is the fact that we are not certain if that person will hold on or let go. If he/she chooses to break your heart, a thing that will surely be hard to do is to move on.

Sometimes, we ask ourselves, is this the right time to forget that someone or should I keep holding on to the promises that we once shared?  Truth be told, that question messes everything up.  It makes you hold on even more to the person who broke your heart.  You even make yourself believe that the person will come back soon even if you know deep within you that the day you are hoping for will never come.

Question is, when is the right time to move on?

#1. When you live in past memories more than the present.

You may have noticed that there are some instances wherein you replay the happy moments of the relationship to make you feel good about it.  I realized that this can be a defense mechanism for some people.  By doing so, you allow yourself to live in a self-created reality which is very different from the actual moment that you are in.  You have to remember that past memories should remain as memories.  You should live in the present and think of your future more than your past.

#2. When neither of you feel the same about each other.

Time flies, feelings change.  If the feelings do not exist anymore, I think it is obvious that it is time to move on.  There are people we never want to leave behind, but holding on to someone who does not love you back only drags out the misery.  You should know deep within you that love is a two-way process.  You deserve someone who will love you wholeheartedly and never leave you for someone else.  Remember, true love doesn't have a happy ending because it doesn't end at all.

#3. When loving the person brings you more pain than joy.

While it may be true that a part of loving is hurting, you should know that when crying becomes a regular thing, it only denotes that he/she is not the right one.  If someone deserves you, that person should be one which brings you happiness and not tears.

--------------------------------------------------

Keep in mind that letting go is not the end of the world, it is the beginning of a new life.  A new life that will make you look back and think that the person who hurt you only made you stronger.

THE FIRST LOVE

"There's no love like the first."

- Nicholas Sparks

The first love is not synonymous to your first boyfriend/girlfriend.  It can actually be your second, third, fourth or fifth.  The first love is the one that you truly have feelings for.  He/she is not just someone who comes into your life and makes you think that you are in love even if you are not.  It does not matter if it happened when you were five or sixty-five.  It does not matter if he/she loved you back.  All that matters is that at one point in time, that person was the one you ever loved and wanted to be with for the rest of your life.

A person's first love will be the hardest person to forget.  The love will leave an imprint on your heart which will be there forever no matter how much you try to wash it away.  The moment you start loving your first love, the thought of losing that person will never come across your mind.  All that matters is the moment that you are both in.  You will become too overwhelmed with the feeling that everything around you becomes just a shadow of what makes you happy.

Problem is, some love stories come to an end.  You may have loved the first so much, but it does not mean that you will never lose it.  The first love will be the hardest to let go.  He/she will still make you smile even if your heart has been broken to pieces.  No matter how much pain you have been through because of that person, the love will still stay in your heart.  Even if your first love has never been yours, the feelings can never be compared to another because your first love is the one who taught you what it means to fall in love.

NOTE: Credits to the owner of the video.

NOTHING MORE, NOTHING LESS

Even if I love him, we can only be just that - nothing more, nothing less

Friends, best friends, enemies, strangers - that is all we can ever be

Have you ever been in a situation wherein you both know that you love each other, but you just cannot be together because of several factors?

There are some moments in our lives where we fall in love with someone who eventually falls for us as well.  By falling in love with each other, does that already mean that you have to be together?  Some people, no matter how much they love someone, they have to deal with the fact that the person they love can never be theirs.  They can express their feelings, but they can never own the person because that's how it is.  Unfair as it may seem, but we cannot always be with the person we want to be with.

Isn't it a wonderful experience to love and to be loved in return?  But what if the other person is already committed and he/she can't let go of the first person in his/her life?  That is one of the sad truths that we might experience.  Even if the feeling is reciprocated, some people cannot let go of the other because they think that the next love that came along might only be something temporary which happens to most situations I know.  This results to the "nothing more, nothing less" relationship status.  Although the love is too hard to bear, they choose to be just friends because they do not want to risk anything.

FOOLISH HEART

"If you love two people at the same time, choose the second.  Because if you really loved the first one, you wouldn't have fallen for the second."

- Johnny Depp

Have you ever found yourself falling for someone when you are already in a committed relationship?  Have you ever been in love with two people at the same time?

Falling in love has never been easy.  Let us admit it, we fall in love with different people in different ways.  And at times, you end up falling for two different people at the same time without you noticing it.  Then you ask yourself, is it possible to fall in love with two different people at the same time?  The answer is YES.  Our heart beats in ways that we cannot even figure out ourselves.  So, do not get shocked when you find yourself thinking about two people because you feel the same way towards them.  

Let me share to you a story that has happened to a friend recently.

My friend has been in a relationship for two years.  During the entire duration of the relationship, she has always been the one who seems to exert much effort in order for it to work.  We always tell her to just give up and find someone else because the guy prioritizes other things more than her, but she keeps on telling us that a part of loving is hurting and no matter how much she cries every night because of the broken promises that her boyfriend makes, she will stay.

One night, while I was doing my assignments, she called me and it was the first time I heard her happy again after two years.  I thought, maybe her boyfriend realized how lucky he is for having my friend.  I was wrong.  She called because she met someone new.  The call lasted for an hour.  She told me everything.  How she met the guy, how they kept the constant communication, how sweet the other guy was every time they talked and lastly, how she fell in love with another.

Because of her, I figured out that a person can really fall for someone else even if he/she already has a significant other.  In her case, the other guy made her realize that love is a two-way process.  Although I am happy for her, I could not help but think of her boyfriend.  What if he finds out?  What will he feel?  Yes, he may not have given her much importance and ignored her for the longest time, but isn't he still a part of her life?  Doesn't he deserve to know?

One thing is for sure, you are the master of your own life.  Follow your heart and do what it tells you.  And remember, you cannot have two people in your life forever.  The time will come wherein you have to choose.  Will it be number 1 or number 2?

TIME FLIES, FEELINGS CHANGE

"People change. Feelings change. It doesn't mean that the love once shared wasn't true and real. It simply just means that sometimes when people grow, they grow apart."

- 500 Days of Summer

Love is something that is meant to be taken seriously.  Problem is, nowadays, saying I love you to someone is as easy as counting 1, 2, 3.  What most people do not realize is that once you say those three words to someone, you make a decision to make that other person assume that he/she is really special to you.  Although some people mean what they say, time flies and feelings change.

Spur of the moment?  It is doing or saying something on impulse or without premeditation.  There are specific moments in our lives wherein the scenario we are in makes us go with the flow.  We do not consider other things that are outside the picture, but we are only focusing on the things that are happening as of the moment.  So, what is the connection of my last statement to spur of the moment?  Let's just say that when we are to overwhelmed with a situation, we tend to do or say things without thinking.  Still confused?  Here is an example:

A girl and a guy just met.  They talked and talked that night to get to know each other even more.  What they do not realize is as they talk, they only think of who the other person is to them and what they feel towards each other.  Because they are too engrossed with the current scenario, they begin to think that they are in love with each other and the other factors do not really matter anymore.  As the days pass by, the burning sensation of this new feeling stays within.  But as time flies, the feelings slowly change into something not so desirable.

It is unknown how our feelings change for people.  It is most likely because there is nothing interesting in the relationship that makes you want to stay.  We cannot control our feelings because it is something that pops out of the blue and makes us go crazy.  The only thing that we can do is to be honest and accept the fact that our feelings have changed.  It will be hard to begin with, but it will be harder if you will prolong the feelings that were never meant for you.

SIX DEGREES OF SEPARATION

First, you think the worst is a broken heart

Some relationships are not fortunate enough to achieve the forever they have always dreamed of.  There are a lot of reasons why relationships end, but whatever those are, it all creates a broken heart in the lives of the people who lost their significant other.  There are people who easily move on, but there are also some who cannot let go of the fact that they have just lost the battle that was once theirs to fight for.  Some cry until all the tears run dry, some drink beer until they forget the happy memories they once shared, some pretend to be happy until they also make their selves believe in the lies they have created.  But no matter what people do, the broken heart remains inside because we cannot deny the fact that love just played its major game on us.

What's gonna kill you is the second part

As the scar of the broken heart deepens, it will be harder to admit that your life is now different.  The usual long calls turn into not calling at all.  The lovely endearments turn into memories that was once yours to cherish.  Everything you thought would be permanent just turned into a dream that is now a part of your past.  And as you reminisce, the memories that made your life perfect during the relationship are the ones that slowly kills your heart.  As you lie down before the day ends, you ask yourself: What have I done wrong?

And the third, is when your world splits down the middle

We cannot deny the fact that when we love, our world revolves around that person.  You do everything together and talk everyday, but that was the PAST.  How do you cope with the broken heart?  How do you tell yourself to move on when everything you used to do, you do it for love?  And now, all you can do is cry because everything you thought was real is not.  But what we do not know is this: The depression caused by heartbreak creates a barrier that prevents us from feeling and experiencing life to its fullest.

And fourth, you're gonna think that you fixed yourself

Time heals all wounds.  After a certain period of time, we realize that the pain is slowly gone.  This is the time wherein we start to entertain new people into our lives.  The smiles that faded away during the heartbreak is now visible once again at this stage.  We also get to apprehend that the world can offer us something better and that we can be happy without the help of someone who does nothing, but hurt us.  At this point in time, it slowly becomes clear to us that the world does not revolve around love and we can focus on other things in order to make our lives successful.

Fifth, you see them out with someone else

Problem is, the broken heart comes rushing out again when we see them with someone else.  Although we have to accept the fact that the relationship is already history and you are no longer in a relationship, it kills to see him/her with someone knowing that you used to be the only one who made him/her smile and laugh.  But as time passes by, you realize that it would be best to shrug it off.  We can only wish them well and let them enjoy their lives.  We all deserve to be happy and if that is what makes him/her happy, let them be.

And the sixth, is when you admit that you may have messed up a little

The best way to move on is to accept that you both made mistakes.  He may have done some things to hurt you, but have you thought about the fact that you may have hurt him at some point of the relationship too?  Forgive and forget.  It will surely be hard, but we also have to consider that not all love stories have a happy ending.

THE SECOND OPTION

Have you ever been someone's second choice?  The second option?  The second priority?  The feeling wherein he/she says that you are important or you mean a lot to them, but deep inside, you know that there is always someone they prefer to be with?  Been there, felt that.

Ever asked yourself this question: Why should I be the second option when you have always been my first?  Ohh, right!  Because I will never be enough.  There are these moments in our lives wherein we just feel like saying, "I am not a second option. You either choose me or you lose me!"  Funny thing is, we just can't.  Know why?  Because we know that they will never choose us and it will be too painful to lose that person even if they never made us the only one and the priority.

While it is true that nobody deserves to be the second option, we cannot avoid this certain kind of scenario.  It just so happens that the second option is needed because the first option was not working out.  HAHA!  You know what second options are like?  A piece of meat that is saved up for later when the first option is not available.  It hurts to get punched by the truth, right?  It hurts to feel so used and mistreated when all you ever do is put so much effort into the relationship, but it never seems enough that is why you just get left behind when the real priority comes along again.

By the end of the day, here's a thought:

"Never settle for being someone's other when you have the potential to be someone's only."

UNREQUITED LOVE

"Loving someone who does not love you is like reaching for a star. You know you'll never reach it, but you just got to keep trying."

- Anonymous

Doesn't it feel good to love and to be loved in return?  The feeling wherein you love someone and the feeling is reciprocated.  Question is, why are there some instances wherein a person loves another even if the obvious fact is the other person does not?

During my early years, I often wonder why some people choose to engage in this kind of situation and go to such trouble as to love another even if the feeling is not reciprocated.  Is it because it is too hard to resist someone who is just so dashing and seems to be glowing when the sun is up (Oh, I'm not talking about Edward Cullen here) or is it because there are fewer complications when you get involved in this kind of love?

For those people who does not know the concept of unrequited love, according to wikipedia.org, it is a love that is not openly reciprocated or understood as such.  The beloved may or may not be aware of the admirer's deep and strong romantic affections.

I may have or may not have been in the same predicament as these people, but I can somehow summarize the whole cycle that they are in.  The other person will do all the loving, giving and caring, while the other did no loving, giving and caring at all, simply receiving.  It is not a good experience, but as most people say, every event/happening in your life has an equivalent lesson.

Everything happens for the best.  If the person you love now does not love you back, it does not mean that no person would.  Maybe, the timing is just wrong and the right person has yet to come.  Someday, someone would come along and love you as much as you do.  Be patient.  True love is something worth waiting for.

THOUSAND MILES AWAY

Ever loved someone who lives on the other side of the planet?  To the point that you never know when you might see that person because there are certain limitations that permit you to do so.  I have experienced this kind of situation.  It is really hard because you do not see the person as much as you want to and you cannot talk to that someone personally because he is just so far from you.

Although it is somewhat exciting because you never know if you will meet them soon or not, it hurts deep inside because as a person who is in love, certainty is of great importance.  Another problem with long distance love is that you never know if the other person is being honest with you.  He can tell you that he loves you even if he does not mean it, but you will never know.

Two important things that I believe would make a long distance love work are hope and optimism.  Hope because you try to put your everything to it and wish for everything good to happen although you are not entirely sure of the outcome.  Optimism because there comes a time wherein the loneliness of not being with him/her might eat you up.  Question here is, how long can you maintain your daily doses of hope and optimism?

A long distance love is something really fragile.  Yes, you can talk to one another on Viber, Facebook, YM or Skype, but the feeling of being close to someone else can be a serious threat to what you are feeling towards each other.

Credits to the owner of the video.  May your love last for a very long time. :)

SOMEWHERE DOWN THE ROAD

"We had the right love at the wrong time."

Did you ever fall for someone you know you should not?  Tried hard to fight your feelings, but you just could not?  You fall deeper as each day passes by, but try to hide it in every way possible?  This is something that has happened to most people who fell in love with the right person at the wrong time.  That feeling when you just want to be with someone, but you know that it is not possible because there is someone else.

"Guess I always knew inside... I wouldn't have you for a long time."

While a person can always love, hope and dream for anything to happen, he/she must also consider the outcome no matter what.  Loving is an easy thing to do, but there comes a time wherein timing is everything.  It is not always the case that a relationship will work out when love is real, the time element must also be considered.  You may be in love now, but when reality plays its part, you know you cannot have someone for a long time especially when he/she is happy with another.

"And if they're calling you away... I have no right to make you stay."

They say that if you love someone, you should let the person go.  The question is, how can you let go of someone if your world revolves around that person?  Unconditional love, that is what you need.  When you love someone, you want to see him/her happy regardless of your own feelings.  Yes, the pain is too much to bear, but you will get over it soon, I guess.

"Sometimes goodbyes are not forever."

Most people say that if you are really meant for each other, love will always find a way to bring you back together.  Love is a mystery.  You never chose who to love and who will love you, it was all planned because love chooses you.  It also takes time to grow and when the right time comes, it will return to you in a manner you would not have expected and imagined.

"Letting go is just another way to say... I'll always love you so."

Letting go is never easy.  It can actually break you and give you so much pain that it becomes hard to handle.  A lot of people believe that when you let go, it is the end of a love that has made a great impact on you.  Truth is, it is the beginning of a greater love that has yet to come.

NOTE:

While it is true that it hurts to love the right person at the wrong time, this situation actually gives us a brief background of what real love in a real world is all about.  Experience is the best teacher.  No matter how many times people tell you to love another person because it is the right thing to do, you cannot because that is not how love goes.  When you fall for someone, you just love.  You may expect something in return, but at the end of each day, it just feels right to love someone even if the feeling is not reciprocated.

I honestly salute those people who choose to love even if they know that what they feel is wrong.  To the point that even if the world hands them thousands of reasons not to fall in love, they believe that there is one reason why they must still hold on to that feeling.  Because that feeling, that is TRUE LOVE.  But in the end, it is your choice to make.  You can choose to love someone even if you are in pain or choose to let go because you know that the love will not blossom any time soon.

To end this blog post, here is a video that is somehow similar to what I wrote here.  It made me realize something, so I hope it does the same for you. Credits to the owner of the video! :)

FALLING IN LOVE

Falling in love is one of the greatest feelings that a person might have.  No matter how painful the outcome may be, we choose to fall in love because we want to feel this one of a kind feeling that brings us to a new world.  I used to believe that I have fallen in love a couple of times already.  But this year, I just figured out that I have only been in love in my entire life once.  How did I find out?  I do not know for sure, but I do think that when you have found the right one, you will know how many times you have really fallen in love.  In my case, I believe that I found him.

 

How will I describe what I feel for him?  That I am not really sure of.  Why do I love him?  Honestly, I have no reasons.  Then how can I say that I found the one?  I think it is as simple as 1 2 3.  All my life, no one has ever made me feel that my world is turning upside down.  When I was engaged in relationships before, I used to think that love can survive even if there is only a single person who puts much of an effort into it.  But this guy, he made me realize that love is a two-way process and if you really want to work things out, everything is possible no matter how far you are from each other.

 

The current situation we are in is actually something hard.  It actually takes a lot of courage to work it out especially because of the distance that separates us.  But even if we are very far away from each other right now, I believe that no one else comes close to him.  He is everything I have wished for, every dream come true and every love worth fighting for. 

 

 

8TH WORLD WONDER

Each and everyone of us has our own 8th world wonders.  They may be in the form of an object, a pet, a place or a person.  But the 8th world wonder is commonly said to be a person who gives you an out of this world feeling.

I first read this story on candymag.com/teentalk.  I was around fourteen years old that time.  Honestly, I did not believe that this certain kind of thing does exist.  Like seriously, an 8th world wonder?  That is ridiculous.  I used to think that you just fall in love with someone and that's it.  But an out of this world feeling?  NAH!

Funny thing is after four years, my belief actually changed.  Here is the thing, I met a guy who turned everything upside down.  It was around 12:26 AM, 23rd of March 2013.  It all started as a random conversation with a stranger.  Sounds unbelievable, right?  You might actually think that it is not even possible.  Well, I met him online, in a site wherein the tagline goes like this: Talk to strangers!  Does that ring a bell?

So, how did it all begin aside from the fact that it was a random conversation with a stranger?  In that site, you have to write some of your interests.  When I pressed Text, I waited for some time and then the next thing I know, I was talking to him.  I thought it would be like those other conversations wherein we will get disconnected all of a sudden, but ours was a very different story.  At first, it was just a plain and normal conversation, then we exchanged digits.  Thanks to Viber, anything is possible!  Here is another thing, we are miles apart from each other.  Because of that, I thought goodbyes would actually be easy.

The next five hours were the best five hours of my life.  There were a combination of various feelings that came out of nowhere.  I was happy, sad, enthralled, but most especially, in love.  You might actually find it funny and you might actually think I am crazy, but that is the truth.  Ironic as it may seem, but I found my 8th world wonder in just five hours.

When we had to bid goodbye, it was the most painful feeling I have ever felt.  I was not ready, my heart was not ready.  There was something inside me that must be revealed.  Good thing is, I was not the only one who was feeling that way.  We were both in love, but we both know that the dream has its end.  It all happened in five hours.  Deep inside, I know it is real.  Maybe one day, maybe someday, we will both wake up again from this very nice dream.

Dear Stranger,

Thank you for being my 8th world wonder.  I don't know when I'll be able to talk to you again, but I'll surely be looking forward to it.  I hope you don't forget me because I won't forget how you touched my heart forever.  As much as I don't want to lose you, I don't have a choice.  Yes, I must admit, it is breaking me to pieces knowing that this will all end soon.  But while it is still here and I am not yet waking up, I want to cherish every moment.  If you can read this right now, I want you to know how happy I am that I met someone like you and I want to take this chance to tell you that I love you. I really do.

I REBOUND YOU

REBOUND RELATIONSHIP

A relationship proceeding a long-term relationship used to mend the broken heart

A situation wherein a person quickly gets involved with someone to prove that he has moved on

Fortunately, I have never been in a rebound relationship, but the thought of being in one actually makes my head hurt.   You must be wondering why I am writing about this if I have never experienced it.  Well, here is the thing, I have a friend who requested me to write something about it because she thinks that she is currently in one.  She asked me to share my thoughts about it and if possible, enumerate some signs to know if she really is in one.  Here it goes.

WHAT MAKES A RELATIONSHIP A REBOUND RELATIONSHIP?

This kind of relationship is easy to spot and recognize for what it is.  It is actually a band aid for the heartbroken and it serves as a distraction from all the unresolved pain and trauma of the rejection that you have just faced from your recent partner.  It is easy because you may feel as though a new relationship will get you past the old one.  When you are in a rebound relationship, you spend a significant amount of time focusing on your previous one.  Focusing on what could have been, what went wrong, what you have done instead, wondering if you did the right thing all throughout the relationship and a lot more.  Because of this, you are draining out the potential of your current one to be successful.

While it must be easy to figure out if you are still on the rebound, finding out if your partner is on the rebound is a lot tougher.  Some people will be more capable of hiding their feelings and thoughts which makes it harder for you to know if your relationship is REAL or REEL.  This means that you do not really have any clues about whether their behavior is normal or they are still affected by their unfinished business with the past.

WAYS TO KNOW IF IT IS REAL OR REEL

1. If he/she keeps talking about the ex

Since he/she is showing much interest with the ex, it only proves that he/she is not really ready to move on.

2. If he/she would drop the new love for the old love

If someone made him/her choose between the new love or the old love and he/she chose the old love, then it probably means that you are a rebound.

3. If he/she often compares you with the old love

Everyone wants to be loved for who they are.  If your partner keeps on comparing you, it surely means that you are a rebound because he/she wants to see the ex in you.

4. If he/she has a tendency to show you off in public

While this may be a good thing, you might also consider the fact that your partner might be doing this because he/she wants the ex to be jealous.

Those are the signs that I can think of.  There may be a lot more of them that I have not mentioned.  So, what is my main thought about this rebound thing?  Well, if you are in one, you better ask the person or even yourself if you really want to be in this kind of relationship.  This kind of scenario is really tough and you must put into consideration that this game is not for the faint-hearted. 

WHAT'S IN MY DAILY MAKEUP BAG?

Since I could not think of anything to write because it's my finals week, I decided to do a what's in my daily makeup bag.  You must be wondering why it's called a daily makeup bag.  It's because I have 3 makeup bags with different cosmetics inside every bag.  I don't really use makeup a lot, but I just think that it is a nice thing to have because you never know when you might use it, right?  So, here it goes.  :)

As you can see, there's my makeup bag.  I didn't actually buy it.  I got it for free in a magazine I bought last year.  I just couldn't really remember which magazine it was.  It looks small, but the truth is, you can actually put a lot of stuff inside it.

I was at this department store in Saudi Arabia last October when I decided to buy a new pressed powder.  At first, I thought of buying Max Factor, but then the shade that I have always had my eye on was out-of-stock.  So, I looked around the cosmetics' section and then, I stumbled upon the Rimmel stand over.  There were only two shades that time, but I thought that the 007 Mohair would most likely blend with my skin tone.  When I was at the counter, fortunately, I learned that it was at 20% off.  Lucky me!

I have always wanted to buy a Benefit product although I am not really into makeup.  It's just that I have read a lot of good reviews about it and I thought that buying one will be worth every penny spent.  So, when I was at Sephora, I was looking at a wide array of Benefit cosmetics when I saw this Georgia peach blush.  It was like love at first sight because when I tried it on, it looked natural on my face and I liked it just that way.

I like mixing and matching blushes, so I have three on my daily makeup bag.  The second one is from The Body Shop.  It is called 01 Roseflower Blush and it is a special edition.  I'm not really into pink blushes, but since my aunt gave this to me, I decided to give it a try and the good thing about it is that it's not too pink.  The only thing that I don't like about it is the smell.  Haha!  But I don't think that this blush is still available in TBS.

The last blush that I have on this makeup bag is Maybelline FIT Me! in Light Peach.  Although I love Georgia, I would choose this over it because this is more of a blush and it's much cheaper than Benefit.  I hope you get what I'm saying.  Anyway, I love mixing this blush with Guerlain Divinora Radiant Blush 535 Peche Metal which is not a part of this entry because it is on my other makeup bag.  Oh! By the way, this smells good unlike the one from TBS.

I've been seeing this product in a lot of international magazines that I've bought for the past few months and it was even a part of Allure magazine's Top something.  The only problem I had was it is not available in any department store here in the Philippines which actually sucks.  Fortunately, I scored some tickets for the Times Square Bazaar last February if I'm not mistaken.  While walking, something caught my eye from a distance. TADAH!  It was this.

I actually love lipbalms that is why I own tons of them.  But in my daily makeup bag, I have this H&M limited edition Disney lipbalm in Vanilla.  I really liked it when I first bought it, but then after some time, it does not smell good anymore that's why I'm planning to put my EOS lipbalm in summer fruit in this makeup bag instead.

Aside from lipbalms, I also love collecting lipsticks.  In this bag, I carry with me two lipsticks of different shades.  The first one is NYX Lip Smacking Fun Colors in LSS 621 Milan.  I have other shades of this brand, but this is the one I like the most.  The good thing about this lipstick is that it's not expensive.  One thing that is not good about it is that it wears off easily after an hour and you have to reapply it as often as you can.

The second lipstick in this bag is L'Occitane Fleur Cherie in Corail Brocart.  I have been searching for a lipstick that has a coral-pink color veil.  Fortunately, during my vacation in Saudi Arabia last October, I had the chance to try this lipstick and it is really good.  So, I immediately bought one.  It is also good that this lipstick has natural contents that is good for our lips.  The only problem with this is that it doesn't smell good at all.

If you have a lipbalm and a lipstick, you would most likely need a lip gloss.  The first lipgloss that I have here is Guerlain 03 Sparkling Sea by Emilio Pucci.  The color of the lip gloss in the picture is very different from how it looks like in person.  Anyway, it has very sparse blue and green glitters and it also creates a wet sheen on the lips.  I also find it awesome because it's blue and it really smells good. Haha!

Last but not the least, I also have my Chanel 41 Starlette.  It was a gift from my aunt.  I just can't remember when she gave it to me.  As much as I love the gloss, I couldn't find it anymore because I heard it's already phased out.  So, I have a few left inside the container and I really try my best not to use it too much because I don't want to finish it.  But I have to face the truth that I would have to bid goodbye to it one of these days.

That's all I have inside my daily makeup bag.  I'll try to blog about what's inside my other makeup bags very soon.  If you have any suggestions, feel free to comment below.  Love lots!

RELATIONSHIP STATUS: It's Complicated

"Love is the reflection of a broken heart in a shattered mirror."

- Anonymous

There are times in our lives wherein we perceive love negatively, but no matter how much we are in pain, we refuse to picture our lives without that one person who means the world to us.  Then again, there are those moments wherein we tend to just give up, lose hope and never look back because all that was left for us to look at are the painful memories of yesterday that we can never take back no matter what we do and no matter how much we try to.

I have been in love a couple of times already, but I am not quite sure if what I have felt for those boys who got away is really love.  Whenever I am asked to define love, I do not really know what to say.  And I think this is the part where being complicated when you are in love actually enters.  Maybe, just maybe, love is complicated because we cannot define it with a definite meaning.  For example: You love him, but you do not like his habits; You love him, but he gives you headaches; You love him, but he hurts you even if he does not want to.  Do you get what I am saying?  My main point here is for you, as long as you love him and the love is reciprocated that is all that matters even if your relationship is one hell of a roller coaster ride.

In my case, love has been one of my greatest achievements and downfalls.  When I am in love, I tend to just think of my partner's happiness and that is all I care about.  The wrong thing about that?  It is the fact that because I try my best to please my partner, I forget my very own happiness.  While it must be true that relationships bring you happiness, making yourself happy WHILE in the relationship is a completely different thing. You might not get my point right now, but when the time comes, you will eventually understand how I feel.

How funny love can make us happy, sad, cry and even laugh all at the same time.  Contrary to the previous paragraph I have written, in the end, though we know how love makes us crazy, we still choose to love because we know that the feeling of being complicatedly in love is still better than being single.  Yes, love is a tough terrain to hike on.  You will encounter endless dirt roads, but at the end of each day, you will still need somebody to lean on.

MY COLLEGE LIFE

"It's a hard life... but if I could, I would do it all again."

- Natalia Makarova

I came from a school wherein boys and girls were always together in a classroom.  It was fun and annoying at the same time, but I think that it is better that way.  It was indeed noisy and messy inside our room, but I can say that those were the best years of my life.  It is nice to have a friend who is from the opposite sex especially if he is just your classmate because he will always be there whenever you need him.  While growing up, most of my girl classmates would say that I am a flirt and all that negative stuff just because I was kind of boyish before.  Boyish in a sense that I get along with boys better than with girls.  Some may find it weird because they think that is better to have girl friends, but it was the other way for me.  While some may think that boys are insensitive, I would certainly disagree.  I believe that they have that common misconception because boys usually break their hearts, but if you really get to know them, you'll eventually think the same way I do.

Moving on, it was a big challenge for me 2 years ago to move to an exclusive girls school when I had to enter college.  I felt like I was in a mess.  I could not even stand a room full of girls, what more in a school full of girls.  There may be boys, but it is either they are deaf or they are my professors.  How great!  My first year in that particular school became really tough.  All those girls wearing HEAVY make-up as if they are going to a party, talking about boys most of the time, different way of speaking (Oh, you know, the typical: Ohemgeee! I think my nail polish just chipped off! What am I gonna do?! I am so screwed!).  If my previous school would be heaven, this would be the other way around.  It was really hard to talk to my classmates without hearing them whine about something.  One statement that would describe my stay here: I'M DOOMED!

I thought it was the end of my life, but after some time, I grew a liking to the people around me.  I realized that I had to somewhat adapt to their way of living and I am good to go.  Living in a world that is very much different to the world you got used to is really tough.  But then I realized, I cannot let the people around me ruin my chances of having a good future.  I just have to live my life and go with the flow.

ME, MY SHELF AND I

"A book worth reading is worth buying."

- John Ruskin

A certified bookworm, that is definitely one of my characteristics that I am surely proud of.  I have loved reading books since I was in grade school.  It is an escape from the stress and demands of my daily life.  While reading, I get to escape my dull, normal life and tag along on any adventure I choose.  Whenever I read books, I feel like I belong to a place that nobody else has ever been to.

In this post, I have decided to share my top 3 favorite books.  After reading this, feel free to comment yours.

TOP 3: Avalon High (Meg Cabot)

Ellie Harrison has just moved into a new school.  Avalon High seems like a typical high school with the stereotypical students.  She has never been one of the popular kids in her previous schools, so when Will Wagner, captain of the football team and class president, becomes strangely drawn to her, she begins to wonder why.  After some time of being in her new school, Ellie notices the similarities between the students of Avalon High and the characters in the old King Arthur legends.  She soon realizes that not everyone from her school is who they appear to be, not even herself.

I suppose the main reason I decided to read Avalon High was because I am a huge fan of Meg Cabot ever since I started reading.  If I remember it correctly, I first read this book when I was 10 years old.  This is certainly one of the books that takes an old tale, turns it upside down and inside out until it is a brand new story.  As each chapter goes on, you will suddenly have this feeling of finishing it as soon as possible in order to find out what happens next.  What I liked most about this book is the connection of the characters to the old King Arthur tale because as it turns out, the characters are all reincarnations of King Arthur and other residents of Camelot.  I would definitely recommend this book to fans of King Arthur, fans of Meg Cabot and bookworms of all ages.

TOP 2: The Future of Us (Jay Asher & Carolyn Mackler)

It is 1996, Josh and Emma have been neighbors their whole lives.  Things have been weird between them ever since, but when Josh's family gets a free AOL CD in the mail, his mom makes him bring it over so that Emma can install it on her new computer.  When they sign in, they are automatically logged onto their Facebook profiles although Facebook has not been invented yet.  Amazing thing in this book is that the two teenagers at the center of The Future of Us can see themselves fifteen years in the future.  By refreshing their pages, they discover that making different decisions now can affect the outcome of their lives later.

I often wish that time travel would be invented.  Doesn't anyone else wish for the same thing?  By reading the book, you might even catch yourself wondering: Where will I be fifteen years from now?  Who will I be marrying?  What kind of life will I live?  This is definitely a tough book to put down once picked up because as each scene goes on, readers will surely ponder what their own futures may hold.  It has a compelling plot and a powerful message which is: actions have consequences, so act wisely.

TOP 1: Th1rteen R3asons Why (Jay Asher)

Clay Jensen returns home from school one day and finds an anonymously-sent package sitting on his doorstep.  He discovers that it is a shoebox containing seven cassette tapes recorded by the late Hannah Baker, his classmate and emotionally damaged crush who committed suicide.  The tapes were initially mailed to one classmate with instructions to pass them from one student to another starting from the one involved in the first story to the last.  On the tapes, Hannah explains to thirteen people how they played a role in her death by giving thirteen reasons explaining why she took her life.

I first heard about this book when I was 12 years old.  I kept looking for it in every bookstore, but it is always out of stock.  Fortunately, I got my copy 2 years later.  By reading the synopsis at the back of the book, you would expect it to be depressing since it is about a teenage girl who committed suicide.  The story actually emphasizes the importance of speaking up and not hiding your emotions.  When someone starts to fade away, just like Hannah Baker, they need help to pull their life back together or they could just become too unhappy and lose the desire to live.  The book tells a story of the actual life of some adolescents nowadays who have to deal with sexual or verbal abuse, bullying, stalking, etc.  I think that the moral of the story is the same as The Future of Us.  It makes us realize that our actions can really make a difference in other people's lives.

2012 CONCERTS

"Music is the strongest form of magic."

- Marilyn Manson

I have loved music since I was 4.  I remember singing the song Paper Roses by Jolina Magdangal in my babysitter's house back then.  I would use a hair brush as a substitute for a microphone.  Silly as it sounds, but that was where my love for music began. 

The year 2012 was an amazing year for me.  It was the year wherein I began watching concerts and supporting my favorite foreign artists.  As much as I wanted to watch concerts even before 2012, I could not because I grew up in a country where concerts are not really a part of their culture.

In this post, I will be making a quick recap of the four concerts I have been to during the year 2012.

1. Katy Perry (California Dreams Tour)

I am a certified Katy Perry fan and I am happy to say that this is the very first concert I have ever watched.  As soon as I arrived at the venue with some of my friends, I noticed different kinds of people.  There were celebrities who surely took a day off, parents who had no choice but to go and party with their kids, teenage boys who were obviously there because they had a crush on Katy and eager fans from all walks of life.  It was also cute to see some people who made an effort to dress up like Katy Perry with their candy-colored wigs and sparkly dresses.  

DJ Skeet Skeet was the front act of the concert and he certainly managed to set the mood for the Katy Perry-hungry Manila crowd.  As Katy appeared on stage, the first thing that I noticed was the set-up of the stage.  Decked with life-size lollipops, candy canes and other sweet things you could imagine, the stage was a combination of sweetness and cuteness overload.  Unfortunately, most of the audience were not as psyched as I am when she entered the stage.  As you may have read from the blogs that were written way, way before, I think the reason for this was the gap between the front act and Katy's performance.  But after a few songs, the audience seemed to have forgotten the incident earlier and the real party started to kick off.

2. Lady Gaga (Born This Way Ball Tour)

Of all the concerts that I have watched last year, this was the one where I was most excited about. Well, you must be wondering why. This is the simple reason behind it: I AM A LITTLE MONSTER!!! So, basically, I watched the second night because I just arrived in the Philippines from a vacation on the first night of her show.  I knew I had to watch this because I was so sure that this will probably be one of the most talked about concerts of the year 2012.  Well, I was not wrong about my previous statement because it was really something that made a buzz days before the concert began.  Several religious groups in Manila called for the cancellation of the concert because they believe that my beloved Lady Gaga is demonic.  Good thing that the government granted Lady Gaga to perform here or else, they would have disappointed me and all I will be doing before first semester starts is stay in my bed and cry my heart out.

My mother and I arrived at the venue 2 hours before the concert even started.  Yes, you read that right, my mother was with me because she was also excited to watch Lady Gaga perform.  The front act, DJ Zedd, warmed up the night with songs that will surely make you rock the night out.  I do not want to sound mean or anything, but I really wish that there was no front act because all I wanted was to see my mother monster.  But I have to admit, DJ Zedd is one cool DJ. Oh, wait! Have I mentioned that there was a big medieval castle on the stage?! How awesome was that?  Moving on, up to this day, I am still speechless whenever I remember that night.  To say that there was no dull moment would definitely be an understatement.  By the end of the show, Lady Gaga made me believe that she is one of us.  Sure, we are not crazily famous, but she is merely a woman who is only trying to express herself like what most of us do.  If she will come back anytime soon, I will surely be there once again.

3. Joe Jonas (Live in Trinoma!)

Let me start by saying that this is not really a concert.  It was more of a mall tour and a promotion for his upcoming album that was already released a few months ago.  I am not really a fan of Joe Jonas or any of the Jonas Brothers.  I just watched the show because my mother got free tickets from VIPinoy.  We arrived at the venue around 10 minutes before the show started since we were not really that excited about it. My sincerest apologies to all Joe Jonas fans out there. Haha! Kidding aside, as soon as Joe Jonas appeared on stage, a lot of screaming fan girls with banners immediately took over Trinoma.  It was kinda crazy to be in the middle of all of them.  My mother and I exchanged glances when Joe Jonas began singing because we felt left out. I must admit that Joe Jonas really has a nice voice that would make any girl fall for him if he serenaded one.  After three songs, he answered questions from the chosen fans in the audience.  Then, tadah! Show has ended.  The most exciting part of the night was our dinner at Yakimix after watching Joe.

4. Gym Class Heroes and Nelly Furtado

Luckily, I won patron tickets for two for this concert.  Thank you, Rockstar Touring! So, this was the last concert I was able to watch for the year 2012.  Music fans like me were in for a double treat that night because two acts performed.  Although their arrival was relatively silent, the concert was a hit.  The front act was by a local band named Gracenote. I am not really familiar of this band.  Following their act was the real deal which I really wanted to watch: GYM CLASS HEROES!  McCoy and the rest of the band were just so energetic that one can't help but jump, sing and dance along with them.  The fun part was I got to hold the hand of Travie McCoy because he really reached out to his audience and I got hugged by the blue-haired guy from the band.  Haha!  I really sang my heart out in every song without thinking that I might lose my voice afterwards considering the fact that I still had an oral exam a day after.  Before they bid goodbye to their adoring Filipino fans, the band took a group picture with the Big Dome crowd.

After about a twenty-minute wait, Nelly Furtado appeared on stage singing one of her hits.  The crowd went wild even it was already past 10.  What we didn't know was we were in for an additional visual treat when world champion hoop dancer Tony Duncan came out on stage and performed with Nelly.  The touching part of the night was when she dedicated the song Spirit Indestructible to Filipinos because during that time, there was flooding which was brought by the monsoon rains.  To close the show, she did her own version of Party Rock to a pumped-up Manila crowd.  It was surely an unforgettable night.