THE UNWANTED CHANGE

Before I begin with what I am about to write, I would like to apologize for not being able to update my blog for quite some time.  I went to a place wherein the modern world is not so much prioritized.  HAHA!  Silly as it may seem, but it is a fact.  Anyway, let us go back to the real deal which is my blog post for today.

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I have written a post a few weeks back that is somewhat the same to what I am about to write.  You may be wondering why I suddenly thought of making something similar, but if you haven't noticed, most of my blog posts are about the current situation I am facing and the emotions I feel that I cannot tell the people around me.

I believe that the people who read my blog are here for a certain topic, LOVE.  I guess falling in love is something inevitable.  Your emotions trigger your heart to feel things that you would rather not feel, ironic as it may seem.  When falling in love, you expect to get your heart broken along the process.  Even if you do not want to, you cannot help it.

A thing that remains questionable to me is how the feelings of others change all of a sudden?  They make you feel special then next thing you know, they are gone without any explanations.  All you can ever do after that heartbreaking scenario is cry yourself to sleep and ask yourself what you could possibly have done wrong.  After experiencing it, you become such a denial queen/king and make yourself believe that it will be better eventually even if you know it will never be.

Honestly, I do not understand how you can smile all day, but cry yourself to sleep.  How pictures you have taken months or years ago never change, but the people in them do.  How the forever you have always planned turn into a few short months that you would do almost anything just to get back.  How some things can hurt you even though you know for yourself that it is the best thing to do.  How the people who once spent their every second talking to you think that a few minutes of their time is too much to spare.  How people make promises despite knowing how common it is for promises to be broken.  And the most important fact of all, how people can erase you from their lives just because it is easier than working things out.

These unwanted changes are some of the random things I think about everyday.  Deep inside me, I know it will hurt even more if I comprehend these things.  But then I realize, the more I think and get hurt, the more I grasp the fact that some things did not work out because better things await me.  Maybe not now, but soon it will come my way.

MISSING YOU

"I miss something I never even had."

- Lauren DeStefano, Sever

It is funny how things change all of a sudden without warnings.  I wish love is somewhat like Facebook.  You receive requests from people who attempt to enter your life and notifications to be warned of what's going to happen afterwards. Unfortunately, love is something that comes unexpectedly.  Someone comes along, makes you feel special and eventually, breaks your heart.  But the sad truth when it comes to loving someone is the fact that no matter how much someone has hurt you, you still miss every bit of them because they have played a significant role in your life.

I have loved just like most of you.  People who know me might say I am too young to say this, but the truth is I was and still am in love.  Sadly, the feelings I have cannot be reciprocated anymore because of some circumstances that remain unknown to me.  He said he loves me back, but the feelings cannot stay for long.  Next thing I know, without any explanations, he left.  Can you blame me if I cried, if I was devastated?  Was it wrong to expect something from him after all the I love you's he uttered?

The only thing that makes me hate myself is the fact that I am still missing him despite the tears that I cried and the feelings that were wasted.  I wish we could go back and be those people who are always laughing together and having a good time. But now is different and I know that no matter how many times I wish for that to come true, it would never happen.  As much as I am in love, it will never be enough.

TIME TO MOVE ON?

"Sooner or later, we've all got to let go of our past."

- Dan Brown

Love is something we all experience at one point in our lives.  We meet someone who eventually becomes a significant part of us.  What makes or breaks it is the fact that we are not certain if that person will hold on or let go. If he/she chooses to break your heart, a thing that will surely be hard to do is to move on.

Sometimes, we ask ourselves, is this the right time to forget that someone or should I keep holding on to the promises that we once shared?  Truth be told, that question messes everything up.  It makes you hold on even more to the person who broke your heart.  You even make yourself believe that the person will come back soon even if you know deep within you that the day you are hoping for will never come.

Question is, when is the right time to move on?

#1. When you live in past memories more than the present.

You may have noticed that there are some instances wherein you replay the happy moments of the relationship to make you feel good about it.  I realized that this can be a defense mechanism for some people.  By doing so, you allow yourself to live in a self-created reality which is very different from the actual moment that you are in.  You have to remember that past memories should remain as memories.  You should live in the present and think of your future more than your past.

#2. When neither of you feel the same about each other.

Time flies, feelings change.  If the feelings do not exist anymore, I think it is obvious that it is time to move on.  There are people we never want to leave behind, but holding on to someone who does not love you back only drags out the misery.  You should know deep within you that love is a two-way process.  You deserve someone who will love you wholeheartedly and never leave you for someone else.  Remember, true love doesn't have a happy ending because it doesn't end at all.

#3. When loving the person brings you more pain than joy.

While it may be true that a part of loving is hurting, you should know that when crying becomes a regular thing, it only denotes that he/she is not the right one.  If someone deserves you, that person should be one which brings you happiness and not tears.

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Keep in mind that letting go is not the end of the world, it is the beginning of a new life.  A new life that will make you look back and think that the person who hurt you only made you stronger.

SIX DEGREES OF SEPARATION

First, you think the worst is a broken heart

Some relationships are not fortunate enough to achieve the forever they have always dreamed of.  There are a lot of reasons why relationships end, but whatever those are, it all creates a broken heart in the lives of the people who lost their significant other.  There are people who easily move on, but there are also some who cannot let go of the fact that they have just lost the battle that was once theirs to fight for.  Some cry until all the tears run dry, some drink beer until they forget the happy memories they once shared, some pretend to be happy until they also make their selves believe in the lies they have created.  But no matter what people do, the broken heart remains inside because we cannot deny the fact that love just played its major game on us.

What's gonna kill you is the second part

As the scar of the broken heart deepens, it will be harder to admit that your life is now different.  The usual long calls turn into not calling at all.  The lovely endearments turn into memories that was once yours to cherish.  Everything you thought would be permanent just turned into a dream that is now a part of your past.  And as you reminisce, the memories that made your life perfect during the relationship are the ones that slowly kills your heart.  As you lie down before the day ends, you ask yourself: What have I done wrong?

And the third, is when your world splits down the middle

We cannot deny the fact that when we love, our world revolves around that person.  You do everything together and talk everyday, but that was the PAST.  How do you cope with the broken heart?  How do you tell yourself to move on when everything you used to do, you do it for love?  And now, all you can do is cry because everything you thought was real is not.  But what we do not know is this: The depression caused by heartbreak creates a barrier that prevents us from feeling and experiencing life to its fullest.

And fourth, you're gonna think that you fixed yourself

Time heals all wounds.  After a certain period of time, we realize that the pain is slowly gone.  This is the time wherein we start to entertain new people into our lives.  The smiles that faded away during the heartbreak is now visible once again at this stage.  We also get to apprehend that the world can offer us something better and that we can be happy without the help of someone who does nothing, but hurt us.  At this point in time, it slowly becomes clear to us that the world does not revolve around love and we can focus on other things in order to make our lives successful.

Fifth, you see them out with someone else

Problem is, the broken heart comes rushing out again when we see them with someone else.  Although we have to accept the fact that the relationship is already history and you are no longer in a relationship, it kills to see him/her with someone knowing that you used to be the only one who made him/her smile and laugh.  But as time passes by, you realize that it would be best to shrug it off.  We can only wish them well and let them enjoy their lives.  We all deserve to be happy and if that is what makes him/her happy, let them be.

And the sixth, is when you admit that you may have messed up a little

The best way to move on is to accept that you both made mistakes.  He may have done some things to hurt you, but have you thought about the fact that you may have hurt him at some point of the relationship too?  Forgive and forget.  It will surely be hard, but we also have to consider that not all love stories have a happy ending.

UNREQUITED LOVE

"Loving someone who does not love you is like reaching for a star. You know you'll never reach it, but you just got to keep trying."

- Anonymous

Doesn't it feel good to love and to be loved in return?  The feeling wherein you love someone and the feeling is reciprocated.  Question is, why are there some instances wherein a person loves another even if the obvious fact is the other person does not?

During my early years, I often wonder why some people choose to engage in this kind of situation and go to such trouble as to love another even if the feeling is not reciprocated.  Is it because it is too hard to resist someone who is just so dashing and seems to be glowing when the sun is up (Oh, I'm not talking about Edward Cullen here) or is it because there are fewer complications when you get involved in this kind of love?

For those people who does not know the concept of unrequited love, according to wikipedia.org, it is a love that is not openly reciprocated or understood as such.  The beloved may or may not be aware of the admirer's deep and strong romantic affections.

I may have or may not have been in the same predicament as these people, but I can somehow summarize the whole cycle that they are in.  The other person will do all the loving, giving and caring, while the other did no loving, giving and caring at all, simply receiving.  It is not a good experience, but as most people say, every event/happening in your life has an equivalent lesson.

Everything happens for the best.  If the person you love now does not love you back, it does not mean that no person would.  Maybe, the timing is just wrong and the right person has yet to come.  Someday, someone would come along and love you as much as you do.  Be patient.  True love is something worth waiting for.