THE UNWANTED CHANGE

Before I begin with what I am about to write, I would like to apologize for not being able to update my blog for quite some time.  I went to a place wherein the modern world is not so much prioritized.  HAHA!  Silly as it may seem, but it is a fact.  Anyway, let us go back to the real deal which is my blog post for today.

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I have written a post a few weeks back that is somewhat the same to what I am about to write.  You may be wondering why I suddenly thought of making something similar, but if you haven't noticed, most of my blog posts are about the current situation I am facing and the emotions I feel that I cannot tell the people around me.

I believe that the people who read my blog are here for a certain topic, LOVE.  I guess falling in love is something inevitable.  Your emotions trigger your heart to feel things that you would rather not feel, ironic as it may seem.  When falling in love, you expect to get your heart broken along the process.  Even if you do not want to, you cannot help it.

A thing that remains questionable to me is how the feelings of others change all of a sudden?  They make you feel special then next thing you know, they are gone without any explanations.  All you can ever do after that heartbreaking scenario is cry yourself to sleep and ask yourself what you could possibly have done wrong.  After experiencing it, you become such a denial queen/king and make yourself believe that it will be better eventually even if you know it will never be.

Honestly, I do not understand how you can smile all day, but cry yourself to sleep.  How pictures you have taken months or years ago never change, but the people in them do.  How the forever you have always planned turn into a few short months that you would do almost anything just to get back.  How some things can hurt you even though you know for yourself that it is the best thing to do.  How the people who once spent their every second talking to you think that a few minutes of their time is too much to spare.  How people make promises despite knowing how common it is for promises to be broken.  And the most important fact of all, how people can erase you from their lives just because it is easier than working things out.

These unwanted changes are some of the random things I think about everyday.  Deep inside me, I know it will hurt even more if I comprehend these things.  But then I realize, the more I think and get hurt, the more I grasp the fact that some things did not work out because better things await me.  Maybe not now, but soon it will come my way.

TIME TO MOVE ON?

"Sooner or later, we've all got to let go of our past."

- Dan Brown

Love is something we all experience at one point in our lives.  We meet someone who eventually becomes a significant part of us.  What makes or breaks it is the fact that we are not certain if that person will hold on or let go. If he/she chooses to break your heart, a thing that will surely be hard to do is to move on.

Sometimes, we ask ourselves, is this the right time to forget that someone or should I keep holding on to the promises that we once shared?  Truth be told, that question messes everything up.  It makes you hold on even more to the person who broke your heart.  You even make yourself believe that the person will come back soon even if you know deep within you that the day you are hoping for will never come.

Question is, when is the right time to move on?

#1. When you live in past memories more than the present.

You may have noticed that there are some instances wherein you replay the happy moments of the relationship to make you feel good about it.  I realized that this can be a defense mechanism for some people.  By doing so, you allow yourself to live in a self-created reality which is very different from the actual moment that you are in.  You have to remember that past memories should remain as memories.  You should live in the present and think of your future more than your past.

#2. When neither of you feel the same about each other.

Time flies, feelings change.  If the feelings do not exist anymore, I think it is obvious that it is time to move on.  There are people we never want to leave behind, but holding on to someone who does not love you back only drags out the misery.  You should know deep within you that love is a two-way process.  You deserve someone who will love you wholeheartedly and never leave you for someone else.  Remember, true love doesn't have a happy ending because it doesn't end at all.

#3. When loving the person brings you more pain than joy.

While it may be true that a part of loving is hurting, you should know that when crying becomes a regular thing, it only denotes that he/she is not the right one.  If someone deserves you, that person should be one which brings you happiness and not tears.

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Keep in mind that letting go is not the end of the world, it is the beginning of a new life.  A new life that will make you look back and think that the person who hurt you only made you stronger.

THE FIRST LOVE

"There's no love like the first."

- Nicholas Sparks

The first love is not synonymous to your first boyfriend/girlfriend.  It can actually be your second, third, fourth or fifth.  The first love is the one that you truly have feelings for.  He/she is not just someone who comes into your life and makes you think that you are in love even if you are not.  It does not matter if it happened when you were five or sixty-five.  It does not matter if he/she loved you back.  All that matters is that at one point in time, that person was the one you ever loved and wanted to be with for the rest of your life.

A person's first love will be the hardest person to forget.  The love will leave an imprint on your heart which will be there forever no matter how much you try to wash it away.  The moment you start loving your first love, the thought of losing that person will never come across your mind.  All that matters is the moment that you are both in.  You will become too overwhelmed with the feeling that everything around you becomes just a shadow of what makes you happy.

Problem is, some love stories come to an end.  You may have loved the first so much, but it does not mean that you will never lose it.  The first love will be the hardest to let go.  He/she will still make you smile even if your heart has been broken to pieces.  No matter how much pain you have been through because of that person, the love will still stay in your heart.  Even if your first love has never been yours, the feelings can never be compared to another because your first love is the one who taught you what it means to fall in love.

NOTE: Credits to the owner of the video.

NOTHING MORE, NOTHING LESS

Even if I love him, we can only be just that - nothing more, nothing less

Friends, best friends, enemies, strangers - that is all we can ever be

Have you ever been in a situation wherein you both know that you love each other, but you just cannot be together because of several factors?

There are some moments in our lives where we fall in love with someone who eventually falls for us as well.  By falling in love with each other, does that already mean that you have to be together?  Some people, no matter how much they love someone, they have to deal with the fact that the person they love can never be theirs.  They can express their feelings, but they can never own the person because that's how it is.  Unfair as it may seem, but we cannot always be with the person we want to be with.

Isn't it a wonderful experience to love and to be loved in return?  But what if the other person is already committed and he/she can't let go of the first person in his/her life?  That is one of the sad truths that we might experience.  Even if the feeling is reciprocated, some people cannot let go of the other because they think that the next love that came along might only be something temporary which happens to most situations I know.  This results to the "nothing more, nothing less" relationship status.  Although the love is too hard to bear, they choose to be just friends because they do not want to risk anything.

TIME FLIES, FEELINGS CHANGE

"People change. Feelings change. It doesn't mean that the love once shared wasn't true and real. It simply just means that sometimes when people grow, they grow apart."

- 500 Days of Summer

Love is something that is meant to be taken seriously.  Problem is, nowadays, saying I love you to someone is as easy as counting 1, 2, 3.  What most people do not realize is that once you say those three words to someone, you make a decision to make that other person assume that he/she is really special to you.  Although some people mean what they say, time flies and feelings change.

Spur of the moment?  It is doing or saying something on impulse or without premeditation.  There are specific moments in our lives wherein the scenario we are in makes us go with the flow.  We do not consider other things that are outside the picture, but we are only focusing on the things that are happening as of the moment.  So, what is the connection of my last statement to spur of the moment?  Let's just say that when we are to overwhelmed with a situation, we tend to do or say things without thinking.  Still confused?  Here is an example:

A girl and a guy just met.  They talked and talked that night to get to know each other even more.  What they do not realize is as they talk, they only think of who the other person is to them and what they feel towards each other.  Because they are too engrossed with the current scenario, they begin to think that they are in love with each other and the other factors do not really matter anymore.  As the days pass by, the burning sensation of this new feeling stays within.  But as time flies, the feelings slowly change into something not so desirable.

It is unknown how our feelings change for people.  It is most likely because there is nothing interesting in the relationship that makes you want to stay.  We cannot control our feelings because it is something that pops out of the blue and makes us go crazy.  The only thing that we can do is to be honest and accept the fact that our feelings have changed.  It will be hard to begin with, but it will be harder if you will prolong the feelings that were never meant for you.

SIX DEGREES OF SEPARATION

First, you think the worst is a broken heart

Some relationships are not fortunate enough to achieve the forever they have always dreamed of.  There are a lot of reasons why relationships end, but whatever those are, it all creates a broken heart in the lives of the people who lost their significant other.  There are people who easily move on, but there are also some who cannot let go of the fact that they have just lost the battle that was once theirs to fight for.  Some cry until all the tears run dry, some drink beer until they forget the happy memories they once shared, some pretend to be happy until they also make their selves believe in the lies they have created.  But no matter what people do, the broken heart remains inside because we cannot deny the fact that love just played its major game on us.

What's gonna kill you is the second part

As the scar of the broken heart deepens, it will be harder to admit that your life is now different.  The usual long calls turn into not calling at all.  The lovely endearments turn into memories that was once yours to cherish.  Everything you thought would be permanent just turned into a dream that is now a part of your past.  And as you reminisce, the memories that made your life perfect during the relationship are the ones that slowly kills your heart.  As you lie down before the day ends, you ask yourself: What have I done wrong?

And the third, is when your world splits down the middle

We cannot deny the fact that when we love, our world revolves around that person.  You do everything together and talk everyday, but that was the PAST.  How do you cope with the broken heart?  How do you tell yourself to move on when everything you used to do, you do it for love?  And now, all you can do is cry because everything you thought was real is not.  But what we do not know is this: The depression caused by heartbreak creates a barrier that prevents us from feeling and experiencing life to its fullest.

And fourth, you're gonna think that you fixed yourself

Time heals all wounds.  After a certain period of time, we realize that the pain is slowly gone.  This is the time wherein we start to entertain new people into our lives.  The smiles that faded away during the heartbreak is now visible once again at this stage.  We also get to apprehend that the world can offer us something better and that we can be happy without the help of someone who does nothing, but hurt us.  At this point in time, it slowly becomes clear to us that the world does not revolve around love and we can focus on other things in order to make our lives successful.

Fifth, you see them out with someone else

Problem is, the broken heart comes rushing out again when we see them with someone else.  Although we have to accept the fact that the relationship is already history and you are no longer in a relationship, it kills to see him/her with someone knowing that you used to be the only one who made him/her smile and laugh.  But as time passes by, you realize that it would be best to shrug it off.  We can only wish them well and let them enjoy their lives.  We all deserve to be happy and if that is what makes him/her happy, let them be.

And the sixth, is when you admit that you may have messed up a little

The best way to move on is to accept that you both made mistakes.  He may have done some things to hurt you, but have you thought about the fact that you may have hurt him at some point of the relationship too?  Forgive and forget.  It will surely be hard, but we also have to consider that not all love stories have a happy ending.

THE SECOND OPTION

Have you ever been someone's second choice?  The second option?  The second priority?  The feeling wherein he/she says that you are important or you mean a lot to them, but deep inside, you know that there is always someone they prefer to be with?  Been there, felt that.

Ever asked yourself this question: Why should I be the second option when you have always been my first?  Ohh, right!  Because I will never be enough.  There are these moments in our lives wherein we just feel like saying, "I am not a second option. You either choose me or you lose me!"  Funny thing is, we just can't.  Know why?  Because we know that they will never choose us and it will be too painful to lose that person even if they never made us the only one and the priority.

While it is true that nobody deserves to be the second option, we cannot avoid this certain kind of scenario.  It just so happens that the second option is needed because the first option was not working out.  HAHA!  You know what second options are like?  A piece of meat that is saved up for later when the first option is not available.  It hurts to get punched by the truth, right?  It hurts to feel so used and mistreated when all you ever do is put so much effort into the relationship, but it never seems enough that is why you just get left behind when the real priority comes along again.

By the end of the day, here's a thought:

"Never settle for being someone's other when you have the potential to be someone's only."

UNREQUITED LOVE

"Loving someone who does not love you is like reaching for a star. You know you'll never reach it, but you just got to keep trying."

- Anonymous

Doesn't it feel good to love and to be loved in return?  The feeling wherein you love someone and the feeling is reciprocated.  Question is, why are there some instances wherein a person loves another even if the obvious fact is the other person does not?

During my early years, I often wonder why some people choose to engage in this kind of situation and go to such trouble as to love another even if the feeling is not reciprocated.  Is it because it is too hard to resist someone who is just so dashing and seems to be glowing when the sun is up (Oh, I'm not talking about Edward Cullen here) or is it because there are fewer complications when you get involved in this kind of love?

For those people who does not know the concept of unrequited love, according to wikipedia.org, it is a love that is not openly reciprocated or understood as such.  The beloved may or may not be aware of the admirer's deep and strong romantic affections.

I may have or may not have been in the same predicament as these people, but I can somehow summarize the whole cycle that they are in.  The other person will do all the loving, giving and caring, while the other did no loving, giving and caring at all, simply receiving.  It is not a good experience, but as most people say, every event/happening in your life has an equivalent lesson.

Everything happens for the best.  If the person you love now does not love you back, it does not mean that no person would.  Maybe, the timing is just wrong and the right person has yet to come.  Someday, someone would come along and love you as much as you do.  Be patient.  True love is something worth waiting for.

THOUSAND MILES AWAY

Ever loved someone who lives on the other side of the planet?  To the point that you never know when you might see that person because there are certain limitations that permit you to do so.  I have experienced this kind of situation.  It is really hard because you do not see the person as much as you want to and you cannot talk to that someone personally because he is just so far from you.

Although it is somewhat exciting because you never know if you will meet them soon or not, it hurts deep inside because as a person who is in love, certainty is of great importance.  Another problem with long distance love is that you never know if the other person is being honest with you.  He can tell you that he loves you even if he does not mean it, but you will never know.

Two important things that I believe would make a long distance love work are hope and optimism.  Hope because you try to put your everything to it and wish for everything good to happen although you are not entirely sure of the outcome.  Optimism because there comes a time wherein the loneliness of not being with him/her might eat you up.  Question here is, how long can you maintain your daily doses of hope and optimism?

A long distance love is something really fragile.  Yes, you can talk to one another on Viber, Facebook, YM or Skype, but the feeling of being close to someone else can be a serious threat to what you are feeling towards each other.

Credits to the owner of the video.  May your love last for a very long time. :)

FALLING IN LOVE

Falling in love is one of the greatest feelings that a person might have.  No matter how painful the outcome may be, we choose to fall in love because we want to feel this one of a kind feeling that brings us to a new world.  I used to believe that I have fallen in love a couple of times already.  But this year, I just figured out that I have only been in love in my entire life once.  How did I find out?  I do not know for sure, but I do think that when you have found the right one, you will know how many times you have really fallen in love.  In my case, I believe that I found him.

 

How will I describe what I feel for him?  That I am not really sure of.  Why do I love him?  Honestly, I have no reasons.  Then how can I say that I found the one?  I think it is as simple as 1 2 3.  All my life, no one has ever made me feel that my world is turning upside down.  When I was engaged in relationships before, I used to think that love can survive even if there is only a single person who puts much of an effort into it.  But this guy, he made me realize that love is a two-way process and if you really want to work things out, everything is possible no matter how far you are from each other.

 

The current situation we are in is actually something hard.  It actually takes a lot of courage to work it out especially because of the distance that separates us.  But even if we are very far away from each other right now, I believe that no one else comes close to him.  He is everything I have wished for, every dream come true and every love worth fighting for. 

 

 

RELATIONSHIP STATUS: It's Complicated

"Love is the reflection of a broken heart in a shattered mirror."

- Anonymous

There are times in our lives wherein we perceive love negatively, but no matter how much we are in pain, we refuse to picture our lives without that one person who means the world to us.  Then again, there are those moments wherein we tend to just give up, lose hope and never look back because all that was left for us to look at are the painful memories of yesterday that we can never take back no matter what we do and no matter how much we try to.

I have been in love a couple of times already, but I am not quite sure if what I have felt for those boys who got away is really love.  Whenever I am asked to define love, I do not really know what to say.  And I think this is the part where being complicated when you are in love actually enters.  Maybe, just maybe, love is complicated because we cannot define it with a definite meaning.  For example: You love him, but you do not like his habits; You love him, but he gives you headaches; You love him, but he hurts you even if he does not want to.  Do you get what I am saying?  My main point here is for you, as long as you love him and the love is reciprocated that is all that matters even if your relationship is one hell of a roller coaster ride.

In my case, love has been one of my greatest achievements and downfalls.  When I am in love, I tend to just think of my partner's happiness and that is all I care about.  The wrong thing about that?  It is the fact that because I try my best to please my partner, I forget my very own happiness.  While it must be true that relationships bring you happiness, making yourself happy WHILE in the relationship is a completely different thing. You might not get my point right now, but when the time comes, you will eventually understand how I feel.

How funny love can make us happy, sad, cry and even laugh all at the same time.  Contrary to the previous paragraph I have written, in the end, though we know how love makes us crazy, we still choose to love because we know that the feeling of being complicatedly in love is still better than being single.  Yes, love is a tough terrain to hike on.  You will encounter endless dirt roads, but at the end of each day, you will still need somebody to lean on.