MISSING YOU

"I miss something I never even had."

- Lauren DeStefano, Sever

It is funny how things change all of a sudden without warnings.  I wish love is somewhat like Facebook.  You receive requests from people who attempt to enter your life and notifications to be warned of what's going to happen afterwards. Unfortunately, love is something that comes unexpectedly.  Someone comes along, makes you feel special and eventually, breaks your heart.  But the sad truth when it comes to loving someone is the fact that no matter how much someone has hurt you, you still miss every bit of them because they have played a significant role in your life.

I have loved just like most of you.  People who know me might say I am too young to say this, but the truth is I was and still am in love.  Sadly, the feelings I have cannot be reciprocated anymore because of some circumstances that remain unknown to me.  He said he loves me back, but the feelings cannot stay for long.  Next thing I know, without any explanations, he left.  Can you blame me if I cried, if I was devastated?  Was it wrong to expect something from him after all the I love you's he uttered?

The only thing that makes me hate myself is the fact that I am still missing him despite the tears that I cried and the feelings that were wasted.  I wish we could go back and be those people who are always laughing together and having a good time. But now is different and I know that no matter how many times I wish for that to come true, it would never happen.  As much as I am in love, it will never be enough.