THE UNWANTED CHANGE

Before I begin with what I am about to write, I would like to apologize for not being able to update my blog for quite some time.  I went to a place wherein the modern world is not so much prioritized.  HAHA!  Silly as it may seem, but it is a fact.  Anyway, let us go back to the real deal which is my blog post for today.

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I have written a post a few weeks back that is somewhat the same to what I am about to write.  You may be wondering why I suddenly thought of making something similar, but if you haven't noticed, most of my blog posts are about the current situation I am facing and the emotions I feel that I cannot tell the people around me.

I believe that the people who read my blog are here for a certain topic, LOVE.  I guess falling in love is something inevitable.  Your emotions trigger your heart to feel things that you would rather not feel, ironic as it may seem.  When falling in love, you expect to get your heart broken along the process.  Even if you do not want to, you cannot help it.

A thing that remains questionable to me is how the feelings of others change all of a sudden?  They make you feel special then next thing you know, they are gone without any explanations.  All you can ever do after that heartbreaking scenario is cry yourself to sleep and ask yourself what you could possibly have done wrong.  After experiencing it, you become such a denial queen/king and make yourself believe that it will be better eventually even if you know it will never be.

Honestly, I do not understand how you can smile all day, but cry yourself to sleep.  How pictures you have taken months or years ago never change, but the people in them do.  How the forever you have always planned turn into a few short months that you would do almost anything just to get back.  How some things can hurt you even though you know for yourself that it is the best thing to do.  How the people who once spent their every second talking to you think that a few minutes of their time is too much to spare.  How people make promises despite knowing how common it is for promises to be broken.  And the most important fact of all, how people can erase you from their lives just because it is easier than working things out.

These unwanted changes are some of the random things I think about everyday.  Deep inside me, I know it will hurt even more if I comprehend these things.  But then I realize, the more I think and get hurt, the more I grasp the fact that some things did not work out because better things await me.  Maybe not now, but soon it will come my way.

MISSING YOU

"I miss something I never even had."

- Lauren DeStefano, Sever

It is funny how things change all of a sudden without warnings.  I wish love is somewhat like Facebook.  You receive requests from people who attempt to enter your life and notifications to be warned of what's going to happen afterwards. Unfortunately, love is something that comes unexpectedly.  Someone comes along, makes you feel special and eventually, breaks your heart.  But the sad truth when it comes to loving someone is the fact that no matter how much someone has hurt you, you still miss every bit of them because they have played a significant role in your life.

I have loved just like most of you.  People who know me might say I am too young to say this, but the truth is I was and still am in love.  Sadly, the feelings I have cannot be reciprocated anymore because of some circumstances that remain unknown to me.  He said he loves me back, but the feelings cannot stay for long.  Next thing I know, without any explanations, he left.  Can you blame me if I cried, if I was devastated?  Was it wrong to expect something from him after all the I love you's he uttered?

The only thing that makes me hate myself is the fact that I am still missing him despite the tears that I cried and the feelings that were wasted.  I wish we could go back and be those people who are always laughing together and having a good time. But now is different and I know that no matter how many times I wish for that to come true, it would never happen.  As much as I am in love, it will never be enough.

TIME TO MOVE ON?

"Sooner or later, we've all got to let go of our past."

- Dan Brown

Love is something we all experience at one point in our lives.  We meet someone who eventually becomes a significant part of us.  What makes or breaks it is the fact that we are not certain if that person will hold on or let go. If he/she chooses to break your heart, a thing that will surely be hard to do is to move on.

Sometimes, we ask ourselves, is this the right time to forget that someone or should I keep holding on to the promises that we once shared?  Truth be told, that question messes everything up.  It makes you hold on even more to the person who broke your heart.  You even make yourself believe that the person will come back soon even if you know deep within you that the day you are hoping for will never come.

Question is, when is the right time to move on?

#1. When you live in past memories more than the present.

You may have noticed that there are some instances wherein you replay the happy moments of the relationship to make you feel good about it.  I realized that this can be a defense mechanism for some people.  By doing so, you allow yourself to live in a self-created reality which is very different from the actual moment that you are in.  You have to remember that past memories should remain as memories.  You should live in the present and think of your future more than your past.

#2. When neither of you feel the same about each other.

Time flies, feelings change.  If the feelings do not exist anymore, I think it is obvious that it is time to move on.  There are people we never want to leave behind, but holding on to someone who does not love you back only drags out the misery.  You should know deep within you that love is a two-way process.  You deserve someone who will love you wholeheartedly and never leave you for someone else.  Remember, true love doesn't have a happy ending because it doesn't end at all.

#3. When loving the person brings you more pain than joy.

While it may be true that a part of loving is hurting, you should know that when crying becomes a regular thing, it only denotes that he/she is not the right one.  If someone deserves you, that person should be one which brings you happiness and not tears.

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Keep in mind that letting go is not the end of the world, it is the beginning of a new life.  A new life that will make you look back and think that the person who hurt you only made you stronger.

THE FIRST LOVE

"There's no love like the first."

- Nicholas Sparks

The first love is not synonymous to your first boyfriend/girlfriend.  It can actually be your second, third, fourth or fifth.  The first love is the one that you truly have feelings for.  He/she is not just someone who comes into your life and makes you think that you are in love even if you are not.  It does not matter if it happened when you were five or sixty-five.  It does not matter if he/she loved you back.  All that matters is that at one point in time, that person was the one you ever loved and wanted to be with for the rest of your life.

A person's first love will be the hardest person to forget.  The love will leave an imprint on your heart which will be there forever no matter how much you try to wash it away.  The moment you start loving your first love, the thought of losing that person will never come across your mind.  All that matters is the moment that you are both in.  You will become too overwhelmed with the feeling that everything around you becomes just a shadow of what makes you happy.

Problem is, some love stories come to an end.  You may have loved the first so much, but it does not mean that you will never lose it.  The first love will be the hardest to let go.  He/she will still make you smile even if your heart has been broken to pieces.  No matter how much pain you have been through because of that person, the love will still stay in your heart.  Even if your first love has never been yours, the feelings can never be compared to another because your first love is the one who taught you what it means to fall in love.

NOTE: Credits to the owner of the video.

NOTHING MORE, NOTHING LESS

Even if I love him, we can only be just that - nothing more, nothing less

Friends, best friends, enemies, strangers - that is all we can ever be

Have you ever been in a situation wherein you both know that you love each other, but you just cannot be together because of several factors?

There are some moments in our lives where we fall in love with someone who eventually falls for us as well.  By falling in love with each other, does that already mean that you have to be together?  Some people, no matter how much they love someone, they have to deal with the fact that the person they love can never be theirs.  They can express their feelings, but they can never own the person because that's how it is.  Unfair as it may seem, but we cannot always be with the person we want to be with.

Isn't it a wonderful experience to love and to be loved in return?  But what if the other person is already committed and he/she can't let go of the first person in his/her life?  That is one of the sad truths that we might experience.  Even if the feeling is reciprocated, some people cannot let go of the other because they think that the next love that came along might only be something temporary which happens to most situations I know.  This results to the "nothing more, nothing less" relationship status.  Although the love is too hard to bear, they choose to be just friends because they do not want to risk anything.

FOOLISH HEART

"If you love two people at the same time, choose the second.  Because if you really loved the first one, you wouldn't have fallen for the second."

- Johnny Depp

Have you ever found yourself falling for someone when you are already in a committed relationship?  Have you ever been in love with two people at the same time?

Falling in love has never been easy.  Let us admit it, we fall in love with different people in different ways.  And at times, you end up falling for two different people at the same time without you noticing it.  Then you ask yourself, is it possible to fall in love with two different people at the same time?  The answer is YES.  Our heart beats in ways that we cannot even figure out ourselves.  So, do not get shocked when you find yourself thinking about two people because you feel the same way towards them.  

Let me share to you a story that has happened to a friend recently.

My friend has been in a relationship for two years.  During the entire duration of the relationship, she has always been the one who seems to exert much effort in order for it to work.  We always tell her to just give up and find someone else because the guy prioritizes other things more than her, but she keeps on telling us that a part of loving is hurting and no matter how much she cries every night because of the broken promises that her boyfriend makes, she will stay.

One night, while I was doing my assignments, she called me and it was the first time I heard her happy again after two years.  I thought, maybe her boyfriend realized how lucky he is for having my friend.  I was wrong.  She called because she met someone new.  The call lasted for an hour.  She told me everything.  How she met the guy, how they kept the constant communication, how sweet the other guy was every time they talked and lastly, how she fell in love with another.

Because of her, I figured out that a person can really fall for someone else even if he/she already has a significant other.  In her case, the other guy made her realize that love is a two-way process.  Although I am happy for her, I could not help but think of her boyfriend.  What if he finds out?  What will he feel?  Yes, he may not have given her much importance and ignored her for the longest time, but isn't he still a part of her life?  Doesn't he deserve to know?

One thing is for sure, you are the master of your own life.  Follow your heart and do what it tells you.  And remember, you cannot have two people in your life forever.  The time will come wherein you have to choose.  Will it be number 1 or number 2?

TIME FLIES, FEELINGS CHANGE

"People change. Feelings change. It doesn't mean that the love once shared wasn't true and real. It simply just means that sometimes when people grow, they grow apart."

- 500 Days of Summer

Love is something that is meant to be taken seriously.  Problem is, nowadays, saying I love you to someone is as easy as counting 1, 2, 3.  What most people do not realize is that once you say those three words to someone, you make a decision to make that other person assume that he/she is really special to you.  Although some people mean what they say, time flies and feelings change.

Spur of the moment?  It is doing or saying something on impulse or without premeditation.  There are specific moments in our lives wherein the scenario we are in makes us go with the flow.  We do not consider other things that are outside the picture, but we are only focusing on the things that are happening as of the moment.  So, what is the connection of my last statement to spur of the moment?  Let's just say that when we are to overwhelmed with a situation, we tend to do or say things without thinking.  Still confused?  Here is an example:

A girl and a guy just met.  They talked and talked that night to get to know each other even more.  What they do not realize is as they talk, they only think of who the other person is to them and what they feel towards each other.  Because they are too engrossed with the current scenario, they begin to think that they are in love with each other and the other factors do not really matter anymore.  As the days pass by, the burning sensation of this new feeling stays within.  But as time flies, the feelings slowly change into something not so desirable.

It is unknown how our feelings change for people.  It is most likely because there is nothing interesting in the relationship that makes you want to stay.  We cannot control our feelings because it is something that pops out of the blue and makes us go crazy.  The only thing that we can do is to be honest and accept the fact that our feelings have changed.  It will be hard to begin with, but it will be harder if you will prolong the feelings that were never meant for you.